#bsd incompetence brigade

[shibusawaz]

armed detective agency this decay trio that. what I really want is to fuck shit up with these hoes

[theylovethestars]

i believe in this panel supremacy

[manglednatalia]

Oh my God, they were acquaintances

[spacexseven]

if anyone wasn't sure, the incompetence brigade refers to a group in chapter 64.5 of the bsd manga, where oguri, katai, kajii and lovecraft were selected to save the world on the basis that they are pretty much the least main-character type of people around. it's not exactly part of canon but it's a pretty fun and short read! this idea-dump-thing is for bestie anon, who brought up the idea of yandere incompetence brigade a while ago.

cw: kidnapping, hacking

out of the four, oguri is pretty easy to like. despite his overall demeanor, his ability is super useful to clean up and darling takes advantage of that very often! every time they come running to him, he gets so excited only to hear they want him to help clean up the spilt drinks in the hallway and vacuum the carpet. he can't believe how his ability, the same one that perplexes so many people, and leaves so many cases unsolved, the one that is a living nightmare for detectives (except that one) is being used as a cleaning service—and for free?! no matter how many times he explains that the perfect crime should be used to destroy evidence, darling always says "but this is evidence too! evidence of my existence!" and well...they're not wrong. he's super soft for darling and would do anything they ask for. yes, even if it's using his ability to vacuum the carpet—all the while, though, he'll be groaning and whining.

with that being said, it's just as easy for him to be cruel—using his ability to erase darling's presence, almost as if they never existed in the first place, destroying their passport and papers and cleaning up their apartment. when darling does something to upset the group, oguri gets the angriest, feeling very betrayed at how they were trying to leave when just yesterday they were cooing at how cute his ability was (in an alternate universe where oguri's ghost things are not invisible). he absolutely hates going out and will never cave into such a demand, no matter how much darling asks. the most they get out of him is some activities to do at home.

about katai...well apart from the fact he rarely ever leaves his futon (darling isn't even sure if he washes it. the one time they tried to investigate—followed by the ever silent and surprisingly stealthy lovecraft—they only saw him wrapped in a shockingly similar futon while he was busy hanging up his own one. needless to say, it was a learning experience.) he's really fun to hang around! katai always helps darling cheat when they're playing video games and the few times they go out, he has no qualms in manipulating traffic lights to cut through the crowd. if they're at home (like they are most of the time), katai keeps them entertained with his unlimited control over technology. want to stream a movie for free? katai's the one to ask! want to hack into kajii's computer to find out his secret lemon bomb build guide? look no further than katai! needless to say, everyone starts becoming wary of using electronics after realizing what it is that you two get up to.

of course, it's just as easy for him to hack into darling's devices and mess around, deleting messages and contacts and destroying connections with others. it's surprising when their phone is so easily handed over to darling when they ask for it, but it's actually katai's tampering—not that they'd ever know—that made it 'safe' enough for the others to let darling keep it. darling can't try using any of the other devices, either—katai will surely know, and it won't end well. and of course, just as he can change traffic lights so he can reach destinations faster, he can use it to stall darling's escaping and turn cameras to find them as they run past.

kajii loves blowing things up, so he can be a little irritating to be around, but not always. most of the time he wants to blow up darling's enemies and anyone who makes them mad, but since that would gain too much attention, he settles for letting them throw it at targets in isolated areas to help release their anger. he's the one who always wants to go out and is very obnoxiously clingy anywhere and everywhere. despite this, he doesn't hold back in public, threatening anyone that looks at darling too long.

lovecraft at first...was a little more complicated, but he's easy to warm up to. he's almost always asleep or underwater—or both. once he learns that no, darling can not sleep underwater, he finds a new solution! lying down in the kiddie pool ! lovecraft can sleep there with darling seated nearby, and as long as nobody comes looking, it's a pretty cute scene. whenever he is awake, however, he's a surprisingly great companion despite the unfavorable circumstance. other than his unexpectedly great cuddles, he's the one that's always up to anything darling wants—even when he dreads going out, he'll do it for darling. he's also the one, though he has arguably the most dangerous 'ability', who never gets mad. lovecraft is almost always quiet and calm, and happily accepts to hide away darling when oguri is pissed. it sucks when he sometimes goes off to sleep for long, unspecific periods of time, but he always comes back <3